Being somebody else

Have you ever wondered that we are often unconsciously making the effort to be somebody else? That we set up standards for ourselves that we struggle to meet? Often, we reach a milestone in life being what we are but the moment we reach one milestone, we take it as a signal that we now need to become somebody else. We can only do what we can do, not what others can. In our struggle, we further pull down our capability. And we deprive the world of the one person that the world needs – “me”.
I cannot recall from what point in time this struggle has been ongoing in me. Of course as a child there must have been a time I was perfectly happy being me. Probably a time came when I saw a classmate do better than me and wished I could be her. Or maybe a time when I saw someone wearing a beautiful dress and wished I could wear that. Or wished I could sing as beautifully as that girl next door. Slowly, these thoughts must have seeped into my mind and polluted my happiness. I must have thought that only when I become like that other person will I be happy. Oh how much stupider could I have been! Now, how does one deal with this when this does happen? One can either feel low and retreat into a shell. Or one can gather friends who lack the same skills that one lacks and feel "good" and "comfortable" in that company. They may even get together and start crticising the others to further increase their "feel good" factor. Or one may even pull the others down: "If I cannot get it, I won't let you". Can you relate to this? What would be your way of dealing with this?
Probably the biggest hint we get is how the attitude flips over when the other is one of our own. My own child or student. Then one feels pride in the other's success. Ever wonder what stops us from feeling the same with everyone? It is our limited sense of identity!
Perhaps it all comes down to just one thing. If you cannot feel pride in other's achievements, mere acceptance of one's own capabilties can bring peace. When your focus is on yourself and what you can do rather than outside on others and on what you cannot.