A New Take at Life

Too tired for home?

2011-09-21T22:23:00.000+05:30

Yes, long long journey to reach home and when you see home is round the corner, you suddenly are tempted to give up the journey. The sweet temptation of exhaustion takes over.

You and Me

2011-07-17T10:46:00.002+05:30

There are times when I get close to the truth. That what I desire so much, that what I worship with my every breath, that what I long for, even if you are all of that, you are still not me.
Me is who knows these innermost desires, knows the longing that resides within the deepest of peace and rest that I have known. Me is that which resonates that longing, if you are what I long for, you cannot be the longing. That longing is closest to what is Me.
And there are times when I just long for you.

Lately...

2011-02-20T21:43:00.000+05:30

Lately I have just been so, so lazy and so, so content. Contentment is not a state that I am really used to. In fact being content with contentment is an interesting and unusual state for me.
On the outside, though, lots have been happening. We had a family holiday at Coorg, in a lovely resort called the Orange County. This was followed by three courses in a span of a month and half. Followed by another trip to ashram. A best friend's wedding just got over and I completed ten years of marriage!
Its interesting to notice how much you may allow events to affect your life and how much of it remains untouched. Perhaps ten years back everything in my life would be driven by external factors, people and circumstances. And now, these things hardly seem to make an impact. Even my feelings which meant the world to me, is an interesting timepass now. I feel a great and tremendous relief to see how much I can dissociate myself from the feelings. Once I started paying less and less attention and giving indulgence to how I "felt", my relationships improved tremendously. As if my closest friends and relations suddenly found themselves "real" close to me without having to "understand" me as I would have put it years back.
Meanwhile we are going to have regular Yes+ workshops in IIT Kgp, which is so nice to know. After all, that is where I chanced upon the 'Art of Living'!
Some pics..of my tenth anniversary and Coorg.

The Vicious Circle

2010-11-15T13:44:00.000+05:30

Late in the night I wake up with a certain uneasy feeling. I don't know how to describe the feeling, but it is not unfamiliar either. Instantly my mind tries to recall the reason for the feeling, is there anything that happened the day before or is the feeling in anticipation of something yet to occur.
Maybe I will figure it out, or maybe it will remain yet another unsolved mystery. Something that will remain a mystery for a while and then fade away, because the sheer momentum of life will push it aside.
When my son, two years old, is cranky, its an easy puzzle to solve. Either he is hungry or sleepy, if he is physically fine. When my daughter is not feeling good, its a shade harder, perhaps she saw her friend with a toy which she does not possess. With a grown up, it is quite an exercise.
Even when we find an answer, deep inside, we know it is not the reason. This I have worked out with a fair amount of certainity. The underlying reason is never the one that we feel triggers the unpleasant feeling.
Of course, I have a dozen ways to solve it. Sometimes a simple diversion is all we want, and sometimes a dip in the inner silence erases all the wrinkles in the mind. But the thought triggers the feeling, or the feeling was anyway there and we draw a line to connect it to a thought when the feeling surfaces? Because our intellect needs to be satisfied. For once if we disconnect the thought/ all thoughts from the feelings what happens? Suddenly the feeling loses its proportion. Its just a feeling, that's all. Perhaps that is what we don't want. Hey, it MY feeling, how dare it become so small. So we hold on to all the threads, the thoughts, the events, the circumstances that give the feeling it's identity. It is that identity that becomes me. That justifies my feelings and my actions. Without all this paraphernalia, where would I be, what will I hold on to.
But if we choose to not build this mountain, and look at a feeling for what it is, and not pay it too much attention, it suddenly strikes us that this mountain is anyway an illusion, there is no relation between events, circumstances, thoughts and feelings. We get caught in this vicious circle and chase a path that leads nowhere and leaves our hands empty!!

Forced to Write

2010-10-27T22:41:00.000+05:30

Why should I be feeling so? Why should I be compelled to write?
It's an extrapolation of life itself at this point of time. For truly, nothing would ever get done if I would not force myself.
Life is completing some piece of work you are expected to do and then reaching out for the next. Yup, that's how I define my life.
Funny, whatever was I thinking all these years.
Life is that feeling that envelops you when you feel you are incapable of feeling anything else.
I can take a step back and see the whole drama unfolding. Why should I intervene? Sometimes it is loneliness that makes me want to participate. But then I soon tire myself out, it had been a wrong move in the first place.

My Story

2010-08-30T15:26:00.007+05:30

Here's the link..

My Story

Perfect moments

2010-08-26T13:08:00.002+05:30

Yes it can make you cry. And make you laugh out loud. Suddenly you look around to see who heard you. But you are safe. Because there is no other.
Yet there are times when loneliness creeps in. And you long for a friend, anybody. You are not too choosy, you cannot afford to be. When you do find someone, you make that person your friend, lover or confidant. You have at last found a partner. Now you can share your joys and sorrows, now you can love someone and not be held responsible for loving.
Yet, have you really never wondered whether this person who is your lover actually exists in reality? Whether he is not just a fragment of your imagination, born out of your desperate need to love or be loved. Take away the need and does he really exist?
But it does not matter. What matters in the end is that you have given your best, and lived. You have shared what you could and borne the rest. And in between you have had a few moments of togetherness and a few moments of solitude, each perfect in its own way.

Time to relax...

2010-08-14T21:12:00.006+05:30

...and when is that?
I have been continuously having courses and when courses are not on, so many many things to do. Social life had trickled down to a zero. When I see a call coming in from a friend or relative I know that the first few minutes will be a tirade of where-have-you-been and I brace myself for that. And if that relative is my father it is i-don't-understand-what-you-are-up-to kind of thing and I brace myself harder.
Meanwhile watched "Inception" and loved every bit of it. Few movies me and my husband enjoy together and this is one of those rare ones. The other ones one of us enjoy and the other merely bears and smiles through.
Had a course in Orissa earlier this month and then another that completed today. Dia is doing Prince Eric's friend Grimsby in their KG rendition of Little Mermaid and I have to get hold of her costume by tomorrow. I have also by-hearted her lines by now. My two year old has suddenly started having a say over my actions, like, don't speak on the phone, mama and don't go to office.
Read Chetan Bhagat's 2-states on my road trip from Jharsuguda and the flight back home. I think it is his best work. A great time-pass.
I should be getting down to writing one soon :)
Work is becoming more demanding. But among all these I think I have finally come to the conclusion that teaching a course is something that I feel most at home with. I do not do it with a sense of doing service to make a difference to people's lives or anything. I do it because it feels so great and it's a great plus that people get back saying the four or six days have been life-transforming to them.
I have started focussing more on my teaching and am quite impressed with my skills. It feels great to be doing this and I cannot say as much for my job, though sometimes it is nice.
I have also pondered a lot lately about some changes that I have witnessed in me in the last few months, very interesting changes and am very glad about seeing the changes that I had been seeking for long. Would love to share with you all...maybe in the next post!

Being somebody else

2010-07-20T13:18:00.000+05:30

Have you ever wondered that we are often unconsciously making the effort to be somebody else? That we set up standards for ourselves that we struggle to meet? Often, we reach a milestone in life being what we are but the moment we reach one milestone, we take it as a signal that we now need to become somebody else. We can only do what we can do, not what others can. In our struggle, we further pull down our capability. And we deprive the world of the one person that the world needs – “me”.
I cannot recall from what point in time this struggle has been ongoing in me. Of course as a child there must have been a time I was perfectly happy being me. Probably a time came when I saw a classmate do better than me and wished I could be her. Or maybe a time when I saw someone wearing a beautiful dress and wished I could wear that. Or wished I could sing as beautifully as that girl next door. Slowly, these thoughts must have seeped into my mind and polluted my happiness. I must have thought that only when I become like that other person will I be happy. Oh how much stupider could I have been! Now, how does one deal with this when this does happen? One can either feel low and retreat into a shell. Or one can gather friends who lack the same skills that one lacks and feel "good" and "comfortable" in that company. They may even get together and start crticising the others to further increase their "feel good" factor. Or one may even pull the others down: "If I cannot get it, I won't let you". Can you relate to this? What would be your way of dealing with this?
Probably the biggest hint we get is how the attitude flips over when the other is one of our own. My own child or student. Then one feels pride in the other's success. Ever wonder what stops us from feeling the same with everyone? It is our limited sense of identity!
Perhaps it all comes down to just one thing. If you cannot feel pride in other's achievements, mere acceptance of one's own capabilties can bring peace. When your focus is on yourself and what you can do rather than outside on others and on what you cannot.

Theft in the house

2010-07-17T23:13:00.002+05:30

There was a thief in my house and one of the things he took away was something very precious to me. I am not one to be sentimental about gifts and mementos but this one thing was very close to my heart.
The money I lost did not affect me much, I never put my stamp of ownership on it anyway, neither did some of the other stuff I lost. This person who stole the stuff, I had known him only for a few days but somehow I had trusted him. If I felt bad it was about the betrayal and also DD's reaction to the whole incident.
My husband was so relieved that the loss was not really as much as it could have been, that I am compelled to think that optimism can sometimes distract you from reality. And give you recluse for your irresponsibility. Such incidents hold a mirror in front of a relationship. And no thanks, we do not want to see any more of our reflection. Somehow we have collectively taken responsibility of a home, but yet I am unable to share either the responsibilites or the feelings that make a home a home. I am suddenly unsure of the role I am supposed to play in my house. It must be very important for me to be here in the house, else why such a silent disapproval from all, and why so much back up planning, when I have to travel for a few days or a week. Yet, I think I am unable to see my role, or the role of both of us together. Apart from the money which comes in to run the house, it seems I can do everything by myself and nothing together.
How could a bond so strong as one that we shared break into pieces like this? Till many many years I felt every gap between us is a result of circumstances and everything can be bridged. But it seems time leaves its trail and nothing can ever be reversed. Each one of us lived in a concept of what we felt the other was like, and slowly as we faded further and further from this concept that we were not even aware we were supposed to be living up to, we never realised we were becoming strangers to each other. It is a different thing that one of us still does not realise. I am probably being too sensitive and it is no one's fault if I am. For all my emotions I am responsible and no one else. If I cannot handle them, who will?
This is a sad post but I am feeling sad today.
As the only positive thing I have to say, I have joined our residential compex security commitee and learning security norms and processes is turing out to be quite an interesting subject.

On the move

2010-07-06T22:21:00.003+05:30

Literally, that's how it has been the last few months. First we had our long holiday to Europe. Then I went to Jharsuguda for a course. Then we went on a holiday with family to Sikkim. Next was another course at Lanjigarh. Next week I am in Bangalore and then later this month, again at Jharsuguda for yet another course.
All these trips come with a huge list of to-dos. Especially when you are travelling with two young kids. Even with my husband, there's so much to do! Paris was just so much of walking and visiting, meuseums, galleries, shopping etc etc.
Luzern, on the other hand was so lovely. The perfect place to unwind, and try the world's best fondue!
But why do I love the trips that I take alone sooooo much, that a village in Orissa, literally in the middle of nowhere, becomes the perfect getaway. Well, technically speaking it was not a holiday...I was there to take a course, APEX programme for Vedanta, but for all purposes, it was. I was within myself, completely. I went for long endless walks and woke up early for sadhna. I saw the clouds floating by and kissing the hilltops and also managed to review the documents for office. I savoured the idly for breakfast and diligently allowed myself to go deep into each day's content and reflect on what it meant to my life. It was a time where work also felt the same as holidaying because there was no difference. I was just so...myself!!
There are possibly few times when I find myself perfectly in place in the world. Where I fit in, so perfectly, doing exactly that little bit that I am supposed to do. No sense of ambition to achieve more drives me, no sense of futility at what I could have but did not achieve.
After a long time, I had given myself completely to the phenomenon of conducting a course, because that is what it is, a phenomenon, where my role fits in oh! so perfectly. The phenomenon is the transformation in the participants and me being a witness to something very profound. Truly, it is these moments that make life worth living.

Conflicts and a perfect marriage.

2010-07-02T13:29:00.005+05:30

I think perfect marriages are definitely possible but would be extremely rare. Only one who is perfectly in tune with one's own self can be in tune with another. When we do not understand our own desires and yet we impose them on another, there is bound to be conflict. Our desires betray our own selves and putting the onus of fulfilling them on another is asking for trouble. A marriage can give an impression of a "happy" marriage, but this phrase of "happy marriage" has sounded very frivolous to me. Happiness is a state of being, and life is going to be full of happiness and unhappiness. To me, there is nothing called a 'happy marriage'. But a real marriage is one that would be able to go beyond happiness and unhappiness, where two people can share the most perfect bond that can exist between two human beings.
When we say success of a marriage is based on compromise, we are usually right, because one of the parameters used to measure success is how long the marriage lasts. To me, unsuccessful marriages can last for a lifetime, just as successful marriages can be shortlived.
I feel the most unsuccessful marriage is one where apathy sets it. When you can become so insensitive to the person next to you, who you want to share your life with. When the television screen can hold your attention for hours but you cannot make yourself listen to what your loved one has to say. There maybe thousands of reasons that can cause either the slightest of sadness in the heart or break apart a marriage, but in truth, there is only one.
Even the most perfect marriage, is perfect because the perfection exists in the mind. In reality it is not. But then you never married in the first place based on reality.

Shooting attempt at Guruji at the Ashram

2010-05-31T21:57:00.009+05:30

I had just returned from Jharsuguda and still soaking in the hangover of yet another wonderful course when this news burst through by mind. I had just called it a night when the phone call came. Shaken, I switched on the television and then called up the ashram, to know that yes, it did happen, but...
Guruji was unhurt.
Only one devotee was injured, marginally, and is on the way to recovery.
Just after the incident Guruji joined the satsang and carried on as usual. His message for the terrorist was, "I will welcome you here, sit for a few days in Satsang and see whether you still want to follow the path of violence". He said we shouldn’t only worry about security at the Ashram, but worry about the condition of our country.
Yes, I know none of this touches Guruji. His response, His calm and centered presence after the incident only reinforces what we already know. How He is a living personification of the knowledge, the joy he spreads all over the world.
When I went back to sleep last night, I was happy and crying at the same time. His presence was lulling me to sleep and telling me that no, none of this can make a difference, ever. Anything can happen in this life, anytime, to any of us. But if there is one thing that is beyond all, that nothing can touch, the only guarantee that I have known in this life, is His love, that holds me together. Moment to moment, for Ever.

A journey has ended.

2010-03-30T20:11:00.007+05:30

When I was younger, which refers to a time span that started many years ago and ended very recently, I used to think that I was on a journey. A journey where I was on a constant search, driven by a need to "feel good". Now there is probably nothing more natural than this in the world. One would of course expect oneself to define ones likes and then gravitate towards them. That defined the people I would want to be with, the books I would read, the clothes I would wear and that in turn defined "me". Or did it, I wonder now?
Because since very recently I am finding myself to be getting bored with these "likes". And more surprising than that, was the relief that came in with this boredom. I found I really really do not care anymore about the people I like, and long ago had ceased to care about those who I don't (and I am glad that that has not changed). "Care" is probably not the right word and likely to be misinterpreted. By "care" I mean that the power these likes had on me is no longer there. It does not matter to my "feel good factor" in life whether I am with them or not. I do care about my friends in the real sense of the word, and probably more so than ever.
This has opened a whole new door in my life. People and things around me have a different definition and value. Its like my life has a fresh new look. It is like readjusting your glasses and the whole world suddenly comes to focus. In the least, it has been liberating; and exhiliaratingly so.
And another journey is on...its not really a journey..more like a window through which one witnesses a journey going on outside. There is no rush to reach anywhere, but a wonder in anticipation of what else is going to get revealed.

This sleep thing..and who needs a pill?

2010-03-13T09:56:00.003+05:30

As I tossed and turned and could not sleep..because there was pain all over my body, I wondered whether it is the body which sleeps or is it the mind. Is it because we are so unable to differentiate between what is caused by the body and what is in the realm of the mind that we get confused over something like this, even though we have been doing this act since the day we were born?
My mom says just take a course of antibiotics. She thinks I am stubborn with some strong bias against the medicines or am just plain dumb. As for me, I cannot come to terms with taking medicines to just become okay. Not right now. Because, this illness is the least of my problems right now. And the rest cannot be solved with a pill. So why take a pill to solve the last problem that I need solved.

Strange Days...Estranged Living.

2010-03-13T00:38:00.007+05:30

I would blame it on the fever. My memory of fever had been an enjoyable state, but that was because of the time I got fever in the ashram. I remember running a temperature of close to 103 and 104 but feeling happy. My body at that time had a mind of its own, and my mind was strangely free and oh so quiet. So much so, that I got some delirious joy out of that fever, which I carried even when I came home to Kolkata, running high temperature and smiling gleefully and curling up on the sofa. Refusing all medications, because who wanted to come out of that state! My people got so concerned when the fever would not just stop and neither would I complain, that they finally put me on a strict course of antibiotics that fixed the "problem" and made me "normal" once again.

But this was three years back. Since then I have been...ahem...healthy and normal.

Till four days ago. I got this fever which was not enjoyable by any means. It had this funny effect on my mind, and I am still counting on the fact that the fever caused it. This time the mind went in the other direction and was anything but quiet. I felt...am feeling...just so cranky at the whole world. A restlessness I was not even aware of has creeped in. I get the feeling that everything that is holding my world, the sense of balance, is so fragile. There is a sense of futility in everything, neither feelings nor commitments seem to be able to steer me into any action. And when I am doing some activity, neither the act gives any joy nor does it seem to have any sense of purpose. The words I speak, are they really true? I probably need to discover their meaning first.

There is not a soul I would even dare to share this with. Everything seems fake except those few eternal moments..which I neither want to hold on to, nor want to recreate. Effort seems too much effort and effortlessness seems like "giving up".

I know no way of escape nor do I care to...going on a holiday would just amount to spending more time with myself, which is what I want a vacation from, if at all I want one. One way of going away from myself is going within myself, but this fever does not let me even sit up, plus what is the point. Another way would be to deeply engage in work, but what work is there that I would even want to do.

I have called a party, but I don't want to invite people. I want money but do not want a job. I want someone next to me but not any of the people who are there in my life and no, not any stranger either. I want to make sure that the lunch has been prepared perfect but dont want to eat it. I love my iPhone except when anyone calls my number, then I don't know what to do with it. I want my wish fullfilled but I do not remember having made any wish in the first place. I love my children but I love it more when they are with their grandparents. I want them to be home, but then the standards I set for myself when they are home are too hard for me to live by. Do I have to be somebody else for them? Someone better than me? Or is just me good enough? What use it is to have people in your life who are your "closest" if you cannot just be your self with them?

Who has put me on this road to perfection? Why have I set myself on this journey that I myself am not sure that I want to take? Does one need a journey at all in order to reach the destination? Or can one just sleep off and only wake up when the destination has been reached?

Next post, only when I am out of fever.

iPhotos!

2010-02-25T10:57:00.002+05:30

Pawn or a player - on the path of knowledge?

2010-01-22T11:55:00.006+05:30

I have done the art of living course ten years back. I did not directly see the relevance of the course to my life, back then. But one thing was for sure, living the knowledge was a challenge. At every point of time, to make the choice of being on the side of knowledge rather then give in to the patterns that defined our behavior and live as a victim of thoughts and emotions.
There were times I would slip, in fact, many many times. What is it that would make me slip, I would wonder. For an ignorant person to be on the side of ignorance is fine, but what about one who is aware, who knows at every moment what choice to make. Why would such a person choose to become a pawn, rather than a player?
Was it sheer lack of strength, and if so, what made one so weak and what is it that made one strong? I have pondered on that.
And yesterday, I felt I got the answer. It is our search for love that made us weak and it is love that makes us strong. As long as we live under the illusion of love, the illusion of giving love without really giving and the illusion of being loved without knowing what it means, we are weak. Because we then allow situations, people and circumstances to have power over us. Because unknowingly we are searching everywhere for love, which in turn depletes our energy and dilutes our focus.
Yet, to know love one cannot but believe in something, some phenomenon, some truth, if not in love alone and knowledge can very well be that anchor. Just something to hold on to. Once you have it, you are sitting on top of knowledge. It is no longer a challenge, but your nature.

Never less alone than when alone...and oh so much work!

2010-01-16T00:27:00.004+05:30

Finally got a day to myself. The kids were gone and Debdas was late from office. When I reached home in the afternoon it was Solar Eclipse time. I sat down for meditation and opened my eyes three hours later. All the fatigue in the body and mind were gone. I felt a burst of energy.
Guruji is coming to Kolkata. His presence is in the air and in my heart. The clock is ticking by, bringing us closer to the d-day with every passing minute. If I just look at the amount of work we are getting done, it is unbelievable! Wherever we go, people just seem to waiting for us. However, one cannot but see this work as a phenomenon that just happens and somewhere you play your own little role. It is doership that gets us stress and creates the illusion that work will not get done if I don't do it. Work by itself is just a happenning. The ground has already been set so that you can play your own small little role.
But to live this truth is an art, the art to balance between pravritti and nivritti.
So today I got a breather. Just to be with myself. A luxury that has truly become rare.

3 Idiots - Study for knowledge or marks?

2010-01-02T21:39:00.006+05:30

Well, a happy new year to all. Late but sincere wishes to you all. May this year bring you closer to your dreams.
I started my year with 3 idiots. The movie, of course :) Having spent my college years in IIT, there was a lot of deja vu feeling; but it was also a kind of an eye opener. I always knew that there was something wrong with the process of my education, and at times I felt it was only me that was out of place. Aal iz well but me! Having been a good student I found something was inherently wrong with our education but when I was actually caught in the mud, I had no clarity of vision to see through it. Instead, I attributed my lack of interest, boredom, to my inherent restless nature and lack of perseverence. A lot of talent just lay wasted as there was no anchor within or outside to channelise it. Not just mine but also many friends and batchmates of mine...just found stuff other than academics more interesting. Stuff like creative arts, music, people, life. And these were all people who had a passion for learning, for knowledge, for science. Dreams they all gave up as marks never got them closer to knowledge.
Its ironic that our system often filters out the brightest because it is very hard to filter out the mediocre. Life runs on mediocricity. Which is why 'Five Point Someone' can be just a widely read book..because it is just so mediocre. If it was truly a great book, I would see less people reading and appreciating it, I am sure. Now while there are a few 'Rancho' s who are just so bright that the system cannot get at them, they excel because they have no choice but to excel, there are many many bright talents that go wasted.
Study for knowledge and not for marks, now I wonder why my parents and teachers did not tell me that. How come no one figured it out!

My Favorite Poem

2009-10-13T18:05:00.006+05:30

Promise

If I had to promise you something, what would it be?

I can't promise that you would always be comfortable...
Because comfort brings boredom and discomfort.

I can't promise that all your desires will be fulfilled...
Because desires whether fulfilled or unfulfilled bring frustration.

I can't promise there will always be good times...
Because it is the tough times that make us appreciate joy.

I can't promise that we will be rich or famous or powerful...
Because they can all be pathways to misery.

I can't promise that we will always be together...
Because it is separation that makes togetherness so wonderful.

Yet if you are willing to walk with me.

If you are willing to value love over everything else.

I promise this will be the most rich and fulfilling life possible.
I promose your life will be an eternal celebration.
I promise you I will cherish you more than
A king cherishes his crown.
And I shall love you more than
A mother loves her newborn.

If you are willing to walk into my arms,
If you are willing to live in my heart,
You will find the one you have waited forever...
You will meet yourself in my arms...

I promise................

His Holiness Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

Dia Sings...

2009-10-13T08:45:00.002+05:30

Perception and Truth

2009-10-12T09:02:00.004+05:30

" I've looked at life from both sides now,
from win and lose and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall;
I really don't know life at all..."

A few days back I got this thought that I just happen to see things as I want to rather than how they really are. This has been especially true for people, but true for events and situations as well.
There are so many things in my life that I would like to change, stuff I am angry with, upset with, disillusioned with. But the funny part is, these issues only exist when I exist. When I am not there, all the problems disappear!
Which is to say, life seems to be perfectly fine when I subtract my expectations from it.
When I remove myself from a situation and look at it, everything seemes perfect. When I put myself back, I see holes. What is imperfect, people and situations or me?
When I take apart each and every desire from my life and look around, what stares back at me is pure existence, or truth.

Dil Bole..Great Job!

2009-10-07T08:06:00.009+05:30

It was complete fun. Dil Bole Hadippa (If I got the name right) is worth every moment of it. Rani once again excels and I loved Shahid Kapur too, a complete treat after the Kamineys and whatever whatever.

The movie had a wonderful story, well executed and a matured script. I loved the message of Veera, it is no longer a question of women's equal rights..here the woman happens to be far better than the men in the job. It's a pleasure to see Hindi movies address such story lines and being made with such level of maturity.
There's this once scene where Shahid confesses his love for Rani. He tells her that she taught him that life is not to be lived seriously but with fun and frolic, the way Veera lived and that is what made him fall for her. For me, it is these simple lines which make these movies so watchable and so full of life. Underneath the sheer fun and masti, there is such an intelligent grasp of the spirit of India!
Of course you may need to live through Rakhi Sawant's gyrations and another creature called Sonia...but in the end..its well worth the while.

Selfish or Selfless - What is true altruism?

2009-09-29T22:05:00.005+05:30

I have often been alleged to be too selfish, right from my adolescent years, not sure if it goes back to my childhood days. Such allegation, especially from close friends and family often troubled me and always perplexed me, because..I just happened to do what I wanted to..and did not know how to act any differently without the act itself becoming pretentious, something I was not too good at. A so called selfless attitude as I witnessed it perplexed me even more...because I found selflessness a mere extension of selfishness. Where you did something for others to gain something yourself, even if it was just reinforing the belief in your selfless nature. I knew of people who had dedicated their lives to service say that they did so because they though that was their way to reach God or whatever. Maybe the act by itself is honourable but my young mind wondered how the motive was any different from a selfish one - 'I want to reach God'.
It was not until I met Guruji that I understood what is service. Guruji says it is good to have a ego...just make it so big that it can encompass the whole world. And Guruji is an example of that, making the whole world his own. Selflessness is nothing except the boundary between two separate people disappearing. As long as you recongnise a boundary and do something for the other, you are still being selfish, in some way or the other. When you are truly selfless you don't know you are, because you don't recognise the 'other', like a mother doing something for her child..one would not call that selfless...just natural. Such is true selflessness, when such oneness exists with all.
I remember the day when Dia was born. I understood the love that I shared with all. For no reason, with no condition, with no expectations I was helplessly in love with this tiny baby lying in my arms. I saw the whole world reflected in her, and for a moment felt the same connection with everybody on this planet.
On a lighter note, there was a day I had this massive craving to have an ice cream. I went all the way out to a nearby store, bought this ice cream that I really loved and walked out, eager for the moments of bliss. A small beggar child approached me and tugged at my dress for the ice cream. I found myself giving the ice cream to her very naturally and then turned back to buy another one for myself. And I suddenly discovered that the desire was no longer there. The desire that had brought me out of my home, made me walk up the street somehow got satisfied with the beggar child enjoying the ice cream!
In Guruji, there is no self at all. He is just a reflection of our selves. Whatever we are, He just mirrors it.

Navaratri- a new way to celebrate?

2009-09-24T07:51:00.007+05:30

From my window, it seems that our city has woken up at dawn break, taken a shower and with the freshness and eagerness of a newborn, is awaiting her mother's arrival.
Even when I was a child, I had no clue why this time of the year brought a certain restlessness in my heart. To comfort this restlessness I indulged in all kinds of activities and socialising, new clothes, friends, food, parties and everything. Inside, I waited for the restlessness to calm down. But over the years it persisted. It was as if an invisible lover was flirting with me, staying just out of my reach and I was in vain searching for him. After marriage there used to be puja in our own house. I thought this was probably it. I just needed to be fully involved in a puja and rituals, after all, that is what these nine days are for. But the huge gathering of friends and relatives, the constant chatter and the complete disregard for personal time and space, stifled me and I longed to be alone.
Navratri is celebration time at the ashram, which is where I belong, but I have never had the fortune of being there at this time of the year.
This time however, I decided to take a journey within. My mahalaya started with a fast (well semi-fast :))and being with my own self. First three days I was on fruits completely. Debdas being at London, I did not have to speak too much. Since yesterday I started a little on soups and veggies. I meditated much more than usual and exercised and already, after the first two days I felt a kind of settling in that I have not experienced before.
I no longer cared whether I went to the ashram or didn't, no longer harboured any craving at all. Everything suddenly looked so perfect in this world, exactly as it was meant to be.
Perhaps the fast and the silence did help but most importantly I know it was just the intention of being with myself and looking within.
These days are for celebration, but true celebration is within, with our own selves. Till the time I searched for pleasure outside..in new clothes and friends and family and parties, even in the rituals of a puja..I was miserable. What took me so long I do not know..but thank you, Guruji.

Living through a lousy day

2009-08-14T15:00:00.009+05:30

Today was one of the lousiest days that I have had in a while now. Nothing seemed to work right. If I am not feeling all right at any time I feel I am being unfair to the whole world around. Perhaps this is being a little too hard on myself but that is the way it has been for years now.
I have learnt to not hold circumstances or people responsible for my state of being. I have known this since a long time but it was not until much later that I actually stopped blaming them. It is so interesting to see that even when the mind knows something as untruth it still cannot easily drop its tendency to link the feeling to an external factor and hangs on to the untruth.
Guess whats the one thing I love doing on such days? Crying. A pillow can play the role of a perfect buddy.No greater pleasure that to tell the whole world to go to hell and sit and cry your heart out. This followed by listening to my favorite chants and half an hour of meditation and I bounce back like a inflated rubber ball!
But these days it has not become easy to indulge in this luxury. Because home is no longer my private place. With children, maids and relatives around, if I do not want to spread a swine-flu-like panic, and have curious relatives wondering whether it is a new lover I have acquired( "what else can possibly be the matter? she has everything one could want") and all other possibilities of a mid-life crisis pondered upon, I just have to act 'normal'.
Rewind a few years back and I would have taken the car out for a long drive on such a day. Just spent sometime out alone or caught up with an old friend, visit a bookshop or just spent an hour sipping on coffee and I would have been back to my mettle.
Today, such indulgences no longer exist in my life. Nostalgia has no place. I have learnt to see a concept as a concept and a dream as a dream. How do you then live a lousy day?
Sometimes I don't do anything at all. Just continue feeling lousy, till lousy cannot be called lousy anymore. Till that little unsettled feeling in the middle of the chest settles down and evaporates. Sometimes I look at the feeling and see how the association of the feeling with the events around my life is just so imaginary. It is this imaginary association that threads together to give a story to our life, a story which probably does not exist at all.

Relationships!!

2009-08-11T10:02:00.001+05:30

The complexity and difficulty of relationships make humans distinct from other species.

The more advanced we are, the more we face the challenges of relationship. Animals have no problem with relationships. They don't go for any counseling. Nor do tribal societies have problems with relationships.There is a deep urge in every human to get connected. This urge sets one to look for relationship. Once you have a relationship, you want it to last forever. When you say, or hear someone say, "I love you very much," the typical response is, "Will you love me forever?

" We want that love to be for all time. This moment someone is in love with you or you are in love with someone, but that is not sufficient. Many also say, "I love you forever, for lifetimes, till my last breath." The words may vary but we want the love to be forever. We are not satisfied that we have the love only right now.Also, we would like to know that the relationship is connected to the past. Often people say, "I'm sure we had such a deep connection from the past, maybe you are my soul mate.

" We want the connection to be deep, and we aspire for it to last for eternity. This very tendency in our relationship indicates something deeper. It shows the urge is coming not from a mental level but from some unknown corner hat we have not fathomed.

So what if someone was related to you in the past?
What is the need that they should be in your future? When things are nice and fine, you think your relationship has always been that way, you have always been in love. When things start to go wrong, even after many years, you think you must have been mistaken and you were never together in a past life. Why then do so many stay together for all those years? Just look at this. If our relationship is based on a personal need, it is not going to last very long. Once the need is fulfilled, on a physical level or emotional level, the mind looks for something else, somewhere else. If the relationship comes from the level of sharing, then it can last longer.If you know how to row a boat you can row any boat. If you don't know to row a boat, changing the boat won't help. Changing the relationship does not solve the issue of relationship. Sooner or later we will be in the same situation in any relationship. We have to look somewhere else. We have to look somewhere deep within us from where we start relating. First of all, what is our relationship to ourselves. Let us ponder on that. Who are you to yourself?

- Sri Sri Ravishankar

A New Life!

2009-08-08T21:52:00.003+05:30

I am conducting a Yes+ course this week and I never fail to wonder at the miracle that each art of living workshop is. How in just six or seven days, the participants get introduced to a new way of life!
You have lived twenty or thrity odd years by certain rules. You learnt to choose your likes and dislikes. You have developed patterns and defined your happiness and misery. You have just lived like any other.
Then you join this workshop where someone holds a mirror in front of you. And you realise that what you thought was a window is actually a mirror. What is going on out there is actually in your own head!
Of course not everybody gets in in just six days. Neither did I. But thats just the start. And the process of turning your vision towards reality is not without benefits. Participants come and share how their life changed, concentration became powerful, interpersonal relationships improved, skills blossomed, stress reduced and they found themselves smiling more and more.
I love to be a part of this process, which is nothing less than a miracle and I thank Guruji with all my heart for bringing the most precious gift to all of us!!

Do I have retarded written on my forehead?

2009-08-03T19:52:00.005+05:30

I woke up this morning and sat down to check my emails. And on the top of the pile was this email with a subject line, "Simply Amazing. Suberb! It works!!!" Well, I clicked on it and there was this bunch of numbers in various colours. Think of one of the numbers, close your eyes and speak it out loud, bla, bla, bla..and at the end clicking on crystal balls and various other such silly stuff, my thought reading computer screen came up with this number I had thought.
I know I was dumb to open the email in the first place, but I am not retarded, okay? If such emails get circulated in such numbers, it's a sure pointer to the average intelligence quotient of our population. If God had decided to give us brains then one definite purpose of that is to filter these out of our lives. If you have brains, use them to delete such crap. If you have faith in anything beyond the ordinary, this is probably not the place where your search should take you!

Sculpting Time

2009-07-31T22:56:00.001+05:30

I get a lot of questions regarding time management, on how to achieve that perfect equilibrium between home and work. I have often wondered and contemplated on what exactly is meant by work-life balance and I thought some points were worth noting down.
Firstly, I do not believing in managing time. When something needs to be managed, to a certain degree it is already out of your control. It means we are operating under constraints. We live with a basic assumption that we have more stuff to do than what is comfortably possible in a time frame. Instead of reactively living with a pending to do list, suppose, just suppose, that you had nothing to do, you wake up one morning with your plate empty - you can do whatever you want or nothing if you so wish - and you have surplus time with you. What would you do?
You will start sculpting. You start building your life, with time. When you manage time, you are giving importance to stuff that you have to do, not necessarily what you want to do. But when you are sculpting, you are working with what you want to do.
If you can really truly do this, you will see an amazing shift in your life. Time will now make way for you to do everything, without any need to "manage" it, because you have now identified what you want to do. You will be surprised at the number of things you will come up with. And if you work along that line, life readjusts itself to accommodate you. It is amazing but it is true.
Now, what is it that I want to do today. Paying the bills, that project submission can wait - because we assume we have time for all that. Everything in your life is taken care of, now what will you do? Just thinking about it will bring you to your own self and then time will work with you, you will have no need to 'manage' time.
Secondly, I have never thought that I am living my life for any other entity but my own self. It is most important for me to stay tuned to my own self. My ease, my comfort has the maximum importance. This is a very subtle point. It is very easy to misinterpret this with staying within one's comfort zone or being just plain lazy. What I mean is, knowing my capacity and living accordingly. If I can give only two hours of quality time to my children in a day, that is what it will be. No need to get stressed because some other mom is giving 14 hours. If I am not enjoying being with my children, I would rather do something else. This might seem to be selfish on the surface, but it is not, because my happiness quotient has a direct impact on the joy and happiness in the lives of my children and my loved ones.
In terms of prioritizing, I believe it is intelligent to give your state of mind the maximum priority, because it is the state of mind which is going to define the quality of life. If there is only one thing that I could do, it will be engaging in an activity to keep my mind fresh, clear and sparkling. My suggestion to all will be the same, provided you have the skills to do that. I call it meditation, and I do it every day.
Time is energy. Time is mind. I think that working on these levels, maintaining the energy level, recognizing activities that we love and that which give us more energy and engaging in them can help us manage our daily chores with ease and enthusiasm.
Lastly, I don't balance. I have never understood what is meant by balancing. Your mind automatically moves towards what you love, with no effort. I have always listened to my heart. But yes, the knowledge I have gained by both doing and conducting the art of living workshops, has brought about an ease within myself. I have learnt to be completely with what I am doing at any given point, allowing me to both enjoy my day wholeheartedly and seamlessly.

Guru and a Teacher

2009-07-27T10:07:00.003+05:30

A teacher takes responsibility of your growth
A Guru makes you responsible for your growth

A teacher gives you things you do not have and require
A Guru takes away things you have and do not require

A teacher answers your questions
A Guru questions your answers

A teacher helps you get out of the maze
A Guru destroys the maze

A teacher requires obedience and discipline from the pupil
A Guru requires trust and humility from the pupil

A teacher clothes you and prepares you for the outer journey
A Guru strips you naked and prepares you for the inner journey

A teacher is a guide on the path
A Guru is a pointer to the way

A teacher sends you on the road to success
A Guru sends you on the road to freedom

A teacher explains the world and its nature to you
A Guru explains yourself and your nature to you

A teacher makes you understand how to move about in the world
A Guru shows you where you stand in relation to the world

A teacher gives you knowledge and boosts your ego
A Guru takes away your knowledge and punctures your ego

A teacher instructs you
A Guru constructs you

A teacher sharpens your mind
A Guru opens your mind

A teacher shows you the way to prosperity
A Guru shows the way to serenity

A teacher reaches your mind
A Guru touches your soul

A teacher gives you knowledge
A Guru makes you wise

A teacher gives you maturity
A Guru returns you to innocence

A teacher instructs you on how to solve problems
A Guru shows you how to resolve issues

A teacher is a systematic thinker
A Guru is a lateral thinker

A teacher will punish you with a stick
A Guru will punish you with compassion

A teacher is to pupil what a father is to son
A Guru is to pupil what mother is to her child

One can always find a teacher
But a Guru has to find and accept you

A teacher leads you by the hand
A Guru leads you by example

When a teacher finishes with you, you graduate
When a Guru finishes with you, you celebrate

When the course is over you are thankful to the teacher
When the discourse is over you are grateful to the Guru

Dispassion

2009-07-12T12:41:00.006+05:30

A friend asked me to write about dispassion. From the time I remember, I had to have my way in life. If things were not my way, I would make it happen the way I wanted. If for some reason I could not (rarely!) I would be miserable. As as aside, when I achieved what I wanted I lost interest in it. Neither in getting what I wanted, nor in not getting it did I get any joy. This became my realisation pretty soon in life. If at all any joy came it was transient, momentary. Yet life was full of desires. And I wanted a way out of it.
I believe the first step in getting a solution is to correctly and intelligently identify the problem. Solving a problem is not always in our hands, but identifying it is. I think that is all that I did. Identified what was bothering me and accepted that I had no clue how to get out of it. And perhaps even unknowingly prayed for a way out of it, though I did not know then that I was praying.
Passion is exciting, it attracts and allures. It promises. What does not become evident is that a person who is swept by passion, by feverishness is usually a victim, if only of his own mind.
Mulla Naseeruddin was once riding a horse and he seemed to be riding all over the city and not reaching anywhere. His friends asked, "Mulla, where are you going?" Mulla said, "Ask the horse, I have no idea!"
Such is the state of a mind under the influence of the five senses. Passion takes us where it will, we are never given a choice.
Dispassion to me is having that choice, is taking a step back and seeing your own mind and having a say in your own life. Dispassion at the same time is choicelessness, or true freedom. Ignorantly we think freedom is being able to do what we want, a matured mind realises freedom is a state of choicelessness in life, when one can just agree to be with what is.

Guru Purnima

2009-07-07T05:55:00.003+05:30

The journey has been for more than ten years now. I walked into a room where a young, bright couple introduced to me the art of living. I walked out of that room six days later feeling, "Wow, it was a great workshop. I am glad to be back to normal life!"
I did not know that "normal" for me was to change forever.
Later when I met Guruji, my first glance at Him was a challenge. I wanted proof, I wanted some affirmation from Him that I was at the right place. It came no less than ten years later. There was only one person who could see into my life, see someone in me that I did not know existed and gently guide me into myself.

Today is the day I celebrate that journey. Love You, Guruji!

Arosa

2009-06-25T20:53:00.007+05:30

If there is a heaven on earth I have been there. Arosa was the loveliest place that I have been to. Its been more than a month that I have been back but I just did not feel up to writing a post on it though I really really want to tell you all about it. Probably because I know what whatever I write will be a far cry from the real experiece and I was scared that just by writing I will perhaps dilute the totality of the exprience that I have been clutching on to since.

Pretty stupid, it sounds like! Hello, it was just a trip, and its gone. Wake up!! What's the big deal?

I came back from Arosa thinking that now it was okay to die. It was just a glance that swept aside the fear of death or longing for life, a glance that brought me ashore. I was not even aware that such a part of me had existed, or is it the other way around, I was not even aware that I was a part of that.

Something so pure, so delicate within me - melts into something even purer, even more beautiful with a touch, a smile, a glance. Who could have touched me there, who is He?

Love had been a silent yearning, love had been a scream. Love had been my anger, love had been my despair. But now I knew love as love.

So what does one do, how does one live? Does one continue to exist at all, after an experience so sublime?

There is nothing that I understand, except that one feeling...is it a feeling at all or something else?

Happy marriage?

2009-06-09T12:47:00.016+05:30

Finally, a post. Last few months have been so busy that writing have been almost impossible. So now I have promised myself that I will write at least two posts a weeek. The last week just went past in a whiff in one of my friend's wedding. Actually two of my friends wedding except that they were getting married to each other. Now, give me a evening where I have to dress up like a christmas tree and smile at everybody and another when I can catch up with a close group of old buddies and anyday I will choose the latter, especially since on my list of stuff-that-should-have-been-done-long-ago (that's the name of my to-do list nowadays, btw) catching up with old friends category take up about sixty percent of the items on the list. But it surprised me very much this time since I throughly enjoyed the wedding, dance, satsang, food, party everything...all in all had a great time!

It takes me back ten years to the time when I got married. The world has moved on so much from those days. I remember I had loved every moment of the event, a relatively simple affair though at that time it had seemed anything but simple. I look back and try to understand the excitement and the fervour surrounding the event. What is the big deal? But marriage has a sanctity, a sacredness. Take that away and it seems to me just a lot of hue and cry so that two people can have sex in a legitimate and socially acceptable manner. But how many of marriages are able to sustain that sacredness? I think it is quite a hoax, as almost every couple realises it soon enough. I have a friend who is the complete social conformist, for whom it is very important to be accepted by people. In a rare moment, she conceded that the best part of the marriage is that she can have sex everyday. Now I wonder, what is it that make parents so desperate to get their children married off? Sex is the greatest hoax in the world and every intelligent parent probably knows that and they would want that life has far lovelier things to offer his or her child than a happy sexual life, if there is anything called that. No, it is the assurance to the parents that there will be at least one person who will look after their child when they are no more. Marriage as a successful institution seems like a proof to me about the lack of faith in God. Come on, is the world such an uncaring place? There are so many pitfalls of marriage but the greatest one that I have seen is that it allows a place for you to harvest and nurture your weaknesses. Okay now you have that somebody to whom you scream and can say, "Why did you wake me up so early? Haven't I told you I love to sleep till late?" What your parents just could barely put up with, even after having loved you so much, now you have a dumping ground for all those negativities. Sometimes I think a broken marriage is actually a successful marriage. Because, one successfully came out of it. Not everyone can manage that! Because there are heavy chains, mental blocks that have been instilled by society to save an otherwise flawed system.
Yet, I am not against marriages. I have seen some lovely ones, where one truly complements the other. The silent communication, the togetherness, the love between the couple is palpable. I wonder what is the secret of such marriges. Probably that they are truly made in heaven, because I do not see a human managing that. I think a marriage is worth a try if you are absolutely sure you have no need for a marriage and you can happily manage a great life by yourself. I think every parent should instill that confidence in their children. That you know you are taken care of, and you make enough friends to last a lifetime. That you strive to be a better human being for your sake and the world.
As Charles M Schulz once said,
"Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave, someone always leaves. Then we would have to say goodbye. I know what I need, I need more hellos"
One note of advice from me though, if you are looking for love, first find it and then get married! More on that later!!!

The Patanjali Yog Sutras

2009-04-03T21:43:00.005+05:30

Talking of books, I was reading the book (by Swami Venkatesananda) and also listening to the Patanjali Yog Sutras (by Guruji) simultaneously for the last ten days or so. It has been an amazing journey into my own mind. The mind is like a jungle and one probably needs a road map to walk through it. The Yog Sutras are like a map, the knowledge of which can take you out of any corner that you may get stuck into. A must read for those who meditate, not just once but many many times. I am saying for those who 'meditate' because I had read it once long back when I was a beginner on the path and not regular with my sadhna. A lot of things had not only been lost on me then but also been misconstrued, because it is only a mind that meditates that can percieve the patterns of the mind.

Few good reads...

2009-04-03T10:40:00.004+05:30

The last book I read was the "Lost Flamingoes of Bombay". Siddharth has been one of my favourite authors (The Last Song of Dusk was a great start) but this book did not do much for me. Very predictable and somewhat exaggerated, too flamboyant and less substance.
Alexandar McCall Smith was however, a pleasant surprise. A sensitive and insightful writer, his characters are intelligent, intuitive and a good time pass.
Read Tony Morrison's "Beloved" too. A powerful writer who can take the reader's minds to places he may not want to visit but then she does not give the reader much choice. If I could choose again , I would prefer to not read it...so you can take that as a warning! You will know what I mean if you have read it.
My hubby is reading John Grisham's latest but I could not muster up the interest to read it anymore and I was impressed with myself because frankly I do not think I have the luxury to indulge in a meaningless thriller now.
Well...do write in. Especially if you have read anything nice recently.

OK to Delete

2009-01-21T13:58:00.006+05:30

Whatever I want to write is never good enough for the next moment. That explains these sporadic efforts at blogging. What I write now, when I read it the next moment, seems something different from what is to be written. Thoughts travel and any effort to jot down something, to me is an effort to bridge the past and the future. Solidifying something which had already happenned so that it can be referred back to in the future. But is it worth living in that way?
It sure is. Take this example. Guess what was a high point in my yesterday? Deleting a number from my contacts list on my phone. I remember when I was in my teens, if I had to call somebody I would have to search for the name in a small diary kept near our telephone. Something very clean and pretty about the whole process. A name does not pop up when you do not want it to. (After all there are so many names starting with an alphabet, say B) Everytime I have to call babu the plumber, baba, bansal, bapi, basant, bharat, bijoy surfaces in my mind. Some of these people I like, some I don't. Their names have made their way into my phone for various reasons. Some I can delete, but still I don't. Like some memories, an unknown hand stops me when I want to free myself of them. So this time, yesterday, I went ahead and pressed the delete button. To remove the name of someone I still wanted to hold on to. In my phonebook and in the pages of my mind. If I can be free of a name, I can be free of a thought, a desire, a dream also. And some day, I can claim that freedom.

Pilates

2008-09-21T20:11:00.005+05:30

I thought it will be a while till I make this post, but I just cannot resist telling you guys how good this makes me feel. I have been into excercising and yoga for a good many years now, but the first few classes just made me feel how deconditioned I was! Since then, I have got addicted to it as it makes me feel so good and I would continue even if I did not find those inches slipping away.

A child raises your spiritual quotient

2008-09-03T20:13:00.004+05:30

We have not lived on this planet for three decades now without having learnt the art of fooling others. Most times at least, we are able to curb our anger and even maintain a smile, externally at least, when we would have loved to murder the person concerned, had we no care in the world. Okay, okay, so I am exaggerating. What I am basically saying is that, most times we do not show our true emotions. At any point of time, anything we portray to the outside world is what we want to portray, and not what we truly feel. Thus we connect to the outside world as we would like ourselves to, and because all adults are playing the same game, it even works. No one cares to know what is your real nature, they are too busy concealing their own.

Now no matter how much you have perfected this game, a child always connects to your inner state of being. So if you are angry and upset inside, but you are trying to brave through the situiation with a smile in place, a child senses and knows the difference by intuition. You will be surprised to see how much a child's state of mind depends on the state of the environment and most importantly, the state of mind of her care givers. This makes life a challenge as you want to give your child the best in life, and the best now means that you have to give her a continous inner state or harmony and joy. And even that you cannot stop at, you owe it to your child that you give her the best environment and so when you are with your child, the environment becomes your responsibility. This becomes a challenge to yourself and the makes life most exciting. A child can force you into living life with a high spiritual quotient. To me, achieving this is next to impossible without my regular routine of sadhna and meditation. It is just too easy to give in to patterns and tendencies that have been a part of you from lifetimes and sometimes I am like, what the hell, if I want to yell, that is what I am going to do! And that too with my full 100%.

A child forces you to see that you are fooling none but your own self when you do this. If you just nod your head in ascent when you read this, agree that even a day lived with your full potential is the best gift you can give to yourself and all around, your awareness level jumps leaps and bounds. And life suddenly becomes a different game, as you work on skills to apply on yourself rather than the world around.

Is there anybody in your life who makes you live a spiritually enriched life, which may or may not be to your liking?

From White to Brown

2008-09-03T06:52:00.005+05:30

Lately, I have replaced all whites with brown in my diet. That means, having whole wheat or brown bread instead of white. Replacing white sugar with natural sweeteners like honey or jaggery or brown sugar (i mean, sugar that is brown in colour:)) and replacing white rice with brown rice. Of Course, "maida" or white flour has long been replaced with "atta" or whole wheat flour. This is a small shift, but the result is amazing. Try it for some time and you will feel so much better that you will wonder why someone did not tell you this secret before. Personally, I feel that even food is yummier, and I enjoy eating more ( though I don't know how good that is for me!)
Buy whole wheat semolina pasta instead of the regular available in the market. I must confess that I did find "brown rice" a little bland in the beginning. But if you can be a little creative, it can turn very tasty.
For example, what I sometimes do is fry some crushed garlic in olive oil, and stir in some thinly sliced carrot pieces and shredded cabbage and then toss in the rice and stir for sometime and viola! you have the tastiest version of rice that you can have with or without any accompaniments. Sometimes I even add broccoli and mushroom to the rice, for variation.
Let me know how you enjoyed this!

Trip to Haldia

2008-08-30T09:19:00.005+05:30

Yesterday morning the three of us, Ankur, Suniti and myself set off for Haldia. Haldia is a small port some one hundred and thrity kilometeres from the city of Kolkata. Apart from being a beautiful town near the Hoogly river, it is also a major trade port and hosts various factories and industries and has recently also seen the spurt of many educational institutes, including the Haldia Institue of Technology which was the destination for our little trip.
Though we started off very nicely, singing, meditating, and catching up with each other, having the yummiest of sandwiches, almost everything that could go wrong in the trip, did. From broken bridges to heavy downpour to all trucks diverted from Singur route to create massive road block, we happily spent 13 hours on the road which would otherwise have been a maximum of 5. But, if you look at the purpose of our trip, it could not have been more successful. I remembered a friend saying, if you have to experience grace, you cannot do it in your bedroom and smiled. Suniti was brilliant in her speech, to say the least. The students would just not let us go without getting a commitment of when we would be back. The faculty and the directors were impressed by our nonchalence with the difficulties and our enthusiasm and energy, which was almost infective.
We were in high spirits while we were driving back. And I found myself wondering what was the cause for our euphoria. After all, it was not like we loved the endless wait in the middle of nowhere surrounded by trucks on all sides. No, but it was one of those times when you are able to tune yourself to the universe. All three of us felt it, Ankur even exclaimed that it was the first time he had seen rain, which of course was not true, but we all knew what he meant.
Satisfaction has different levels, one being when you apply your own skills and expertise and accomplish something. We have all had such experiences, be it meeting an aggressive project deadline, being in the top five in class or just giving a brilliant performance at a music competition. But there is another level of satisfaction, and "satisfaction" is a poor word for the feeling I am trying to convey. It is when you have worked in tune with the demands of the universe and you see how perfectly you fit into and complete the universal scheme of things. There is little or no personal gain and whatever is there is devoid of any sense of accomplishment. When you work with a team and give life to a vision or a simple goal. When the individual ceases to matter and the work assumes a life of its own. When you can completely bask at another's accomplishment and you know it is all a part of you anyway. When praise or criticism ceases to matter and your heart says "wooh hooh!" and you mind is a mute observer.
It is worth it, having this experience. Rather I would say, it is these moments of bliss that make life worth living.
Besides, we had the most amazing food at a roadside dhaba on the highway!
Have you experienced something like this? Then do share with all of us...

More on Being Assertive

2008-08-27T08:55:00.004+05:30

How does one behave at the face of a conflict?
If one is non cooperative and non assertive, that kind of behaviour is escapism or aviodance, when you are in a state of denial. Behaviour that is assertive and not cooperative is asking for a fight, and insisting that I win in the fight. One who is not assertive but cooperative is giving in to the situation to the point of even encouraging the issue of conflict to grow. Being half cooperative and half assertive is a compromise which usually makes neither party happy. But one who can be totally cooperative as well as totally assertive at the same time is actually engaged in the act of problem solving.
This however applies to the outside world.
Internally, one must reflect at the source of conflict. Unless that is dealt with the problem-solving exercise can never be successful since you have not taken the first step which is to identify the problem itself. The world is a mere reflection of your own self. If I feel the conflict in me is a result of a person or situation, I have not looked deep enough. Meditation is the only exercise that makes this possible, and you are able to see your mind staring back at you. The only true way to resolve conflict that I know of - meditation.

Being Assertive

2008-08-22T10:22:00.000+05:30

We know people who are assertive and people who are cooperative (real life example? me: assertive; husband: cooperative) and I have often had this doubt - just where is the balance? Just how much should one assert himself? Before we come to an answer let us examine the root of the question itself, why one needs to be assertive in the first place.
Scenario 1: I want to go to the ashram. Mom says 'no', hubby says 'no', kids say 'no'. I put my foot down, "I am going".
Scenario 2: I want to go to the ashram. Mom says 'no', hubby says 'no', kids say 'no'. I give in. "Never shall I go to the ashram"
Well, this is easy. Just go to the ashram. But does that mean, always being assertive is right? What about all the greatness attached to being cooperative? Compromise is a virtue. Obedience is even better. Where would that have taken me, a whole life without an ashram visit? Yes, it could lead to that, especially if I was very cooperative and very very understanding.
But where has being assertive taken me. Have I hurt my loved ones? Have I spread disharmony around? Have I spread the message that I am very, very, very selfish? Yes, Yes, Yes!
What would I do of I had a second chance - Go to the ashram, of course!
Is there a in-between that is not a compromise? A win-win situation for all?
I think being assertive is a skill. If assertiveness does not come out of an insecurity, if I do not think that people and situations out there are against me in the first place, if my intentions are right and not pointing towards short term pleasure, then the ability to be assertive is an asset. If the need to be assertive arises out of small desires, a scattered mind, it is a sign of weakness.
Sometimes, not being assertive is to stick to your comfort zone. A comfort zone can also be, "See, I am a very peace loving person". Hey, what you mean is you do not have the guts to be assertive. Personally, it so happenned with me that I had complaints about my job. And I would just sit back and wait for more problems to arise, so I could crib to myself some more, and say, "I knew it would lead to this!". I was not being proactive, not asserting myself to solve the problem because it suited me. When something was going wrong, I would "compromise", go along with the person or situation - I did not care. Being cooperative is also about not caring at times!
Put in your comments guys - should one be cooperative or assertive?
Little more on this in the next post - Coming Soon!

Lunch

2008-08-21T18:20:00.000+05:30

Lunch was a great affair today...so much for me losing all the weight. Well, I just had iceberg lettuce and sun dried tomatos in vinegar. I also took a bite from Amit's broccoli and sun dried tomatoes with cheese sprinkled on top. It was yum. Tried out a new thing today, "Apple Soup", it tasted like anything but apple and it was heavenly. Dia had french fries and tomato sauce and tried chocolate mousse, out of which the french fries were so much in demand that Bau, Vikram, Amit all just had to take a bite from her plate. Inspite of being heartbroken, she managed to keep a brave face and not scream. Great job, girl!

I came back and saw that I was running quite high temperature, but it is interesting that since the morning I did not feel any discomfort. And that was because I was with people I love the most, my friends and family. Okay, so we start with Dia, my three year old, who is the most precious gift in my life, then my husband Debdas, who has been a pillar of strength for me in all these years of marriage, and managed to live with me and still love me, which is quite an accomplishment by itself. Then there was Vikram - our relationship is one that I am very proud of and spans ten years, he is my teacher (from him I learnt the Art of Living, designed by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, a superb workshop that I too conduct now) and friend.

Yes that's him on his guitar. He is an amazing guitarist and singer, also a brilliant photographer and to see some of his tips on photography, you can check out his blog.

Then we had with us Bau and Dinesh, amazing and dynamic personalities each of them, directors of the World Alliance for Youth Empowerment (WAYE).
We also had with us, Amit, Ananya, Ritika, Devang and Asha Didi.

List completed, that brings us to the question, why was it that inspite of running 101+ fever and having slept less than four hours average over the last seven days, was I still feeling so good? I am suppossed to be feeling lousy, crib, complain etc etc.

"The quality of our life depends on our state of mind"

No matter what the world outside is doing to you, including your own body, your mind is infinitely more powerful and it is up to each one of us to unleash that power.

The one hour we spent at ITC Sonar Bangla coffee shop was just amazing and the food delicious. But to have a great time it does not matter where you are and what you a doing or eating , just an ability to look into your own mind.

But for all of you who missed the fabulous lunch, not to worry. You can check out some of the most amazing recipes here.

Introduction

2008-08-21T17:14:00.000+05:30

So what is this blog all about? Just as the title says, this blog is going to be all about bringing in a new perspective to life. Okay, so we all are living and most of us are doing a great job at it...(and if you are not, perhaps this blog is not for you). But are we convinced that this is the best that we can do or is it just possible that a better life has slipped us by? If this is a question that is close to your heart, this is the blog just for you!. I welcome your comments and queries and all that you have to share.